Hena
I thought it might be nice for you to meet some of the people in my life here. So meet Hena, my maid. Except the word maid doesn't even begin to do her justice. Hena is a source of both cleanliness and joy in our home.
I think everyone struggles when they come to a developing country with the issue of hired help. To get a maid, or to sacrifice your own knuckles hand-washing your knickers? It's a dilemma.
In the Dominican Republic, I didn't have a maid. At the time it just didn't seem necessary. And, to be honest, I didn't like the idea. It seemed.... colonial. In Africa, for the first few months, I also didn't have a maid. In the end, it wasn't my knuckles I gave into, it was realizing what a wonderful experience it can be to have someone work in your home.
My Zambian maid, Rose ('Lozy', as she pronounced it), was a source of endless laughter. She kept my roommate and I in stitches with her stories and her hilarious way of saying things. We in turn showered her with information about HIV (as we did to everyone we knew) and tried our best to keep her happy. I remember one day I splurged $3 to buy a mosquito net for her; For the next two weeks she never came without telling me how well she had slept. Her smile was something I always looked forward to on a Sunday afternoon.
Here in Dhaka I have had a number of people working in the many (5) different apartments I have lived in. Most came with the apartment (I did a lot of sharing and house sitting and people get very attached to their maids), much like the tacky furniture I'm sitting on at the moment. Now I have Hena, who, while she occasionally wears some pretty tacky outfits (but then what Bangladeshi woman doesn't?), can only be described as wonderful in every way.
I have known Hena since I arrived in Bangladesh. I met her during my first week, in the corridor of my first apartment in Banani. She was collecting the garbage that is left outside each apartment door. I remember noticing how bright her eyes were. A few months later, a friend and neighbour hired her. From what I hear, she was around so often being so helpful, he figured the least he could do was pay her for it! He also set up a bank account for her so that she could start saving. Hena then moved on to work with three other Canadians who lived in that building, all of whom fell absolutely in love with her, and has worked for three other foreigners since. Today she has 20,000Tk (400CAD) in her bank account. An enormous sum that she is clearly very proud of.
A few months ago my roommates and I found ourselves in need of some help around the house. I happened to be going through Hena's slum one day, and decided to drop by and say hello. I hadn't thought about asking her to work for us, I was simply planning on visiting, but luckily the lightbulb went on and I realized she would be perfect.
So now Hena comes to our house three times a week to clean and keep us company. Despite the enormous communication gaps that exist (she only speaks Bangla), we share all kinds of stories. She likes to hear about our families and loves looking at photos of them all. In fact she was so taken with the photos of my sister in law, that she sent me home to Canada with a Christmas gift of a scarf and earrings for her. A Bangladeshi maid giving a Canadian woman who she's never met a Christmas gift. Go figure. I offered to bring Hena something from Canada. She asked for multivitamins. She got her vitamins, and all my respect.
Hena has a Grade 1 education. She was married when she was 12, and her parents paid a dowry of 10,000Tk. She had her first daughter, Rohima, when she was 13, and her second daughter, Johora, when she was 16. Rohima is now 7 and attends StreetWise, a community school for slum children, thanks to a Canadian friend and employer who introduced her to the school. Her husband doesn't work. That's the beginning of his long list of less than redeeming qualities. She said she thought about divorcing him once, but that he refused. While I am tempted to explain to her that this is not how it works, I also recognize that leaving her husband simply might not be the best thing for her. This is a society in which women struggle to survive on their own and I might be doing her a grave diservice by encouraging her to go out on her own into a situation that I don't fully understand the ramifications of.
I learned the other day that Hena is mostly illiterate. I feel that the best way to help Hena make decisions about her life is to enable her to access information on her own, so, in the irony of all ironies, my roommates and I have decided to try to teach her to read and write Bangla. I have a feeling our house is going to be covered from top to bottom in flash cards pretty soon...
Despite all the obstacles she faces, Hena laughs often. In fact, she's pretty much smiling all the time. There is no end to my admiration of her spirit.
Yes, it does feel strange to leave my dishes lying around for someone else to clean, but regardless of the bad habits I am picking up, I am grateful for what Hena has brought to my life. And, I am grateful that I am able to bring a thing or two to her life as well, even if it is only a salary and some multivitamins.
I think everyone struggles when they come to a developing country with the issue of hired help. To get a maid, or to sacrifice your own knuckles hand-washing your knickers? It's a dilemma.
In the Dominican Republic, I didn't have a maid. At the time it just didn't seem necessary. And, to be honest, I didn't like the idea. It seemed.... colonial. In Africa, for the first few months, I also didn't have a maid. In the end, it wasn't my knuckles I gave into, it was realizing what a wonderful experience it can be to have someone work in your home.
My Zambian maid, Rose ('Lozy', as she pronounced it), was a source of endless laughter. She kept my roommate and I in stitches with her stories and her hilarious way of saying things. We in turn showered her with information about HIV (as we did to everyone we knew) and tried our best to keep her happy. I remember one day I splurged $3 to buy a mosquito net for her; For the next two weeks she never came without telling me how well she had slept. Her smile was something I always looked forward to on a Sunday afternoon.
Here in Dhaka I have had a number of people working in the many (5) different apartments I have lived in. Most came with the apartment (I did a lot of sharing and house sitting and people get very attached to their maids), much like the tacky furniture I'm sitting on at the moment. Now I have Hena, who, while she occasionally wears some pretty tacky outfits (but then what Bangladeshi woman doesn't?), can only be described as wonderful in every way.
I have known Hena since I arrived in Bangladesh. I met her during my first week, in the corridor of my first apartment in Banani. She was collecting the garbage that is left outside each apartment door. I remember noticing how bright her eyes were. A few months later, a friend and neighbour hired her. From what I hear, she was around so often being so helpful, he figured the least he could do was pay her for it! He also set up a bank account for her so that she could start saving. Hena then moved on to work with three other Canadians who lived in that building, all of whom fell absolutely in love with her, and has worked for three other foreigners since. Today she has 20,000Tk (400CAD) in her bank account. An enormous sum that she is clearly very proud of.
A few months ago my roommates and I found ourselves in need of some help around the house. I happened to be going through Hena's slum one day, and decided to drop by and say hello. I hadn't thought about asking her to work for us, I was simply planning on visiting, but luckily the lightbulb went on and I realized she would be perfect.
So now Hena comes to our house three times a week to clean and keep us company. Despite the enormous communication gaps that exist (she only speaks Bangla), we share all kinds of stories. She likes to hear about our families and loves looking at photos of them all. In fact she was so taken with the photos of my sister in law, that she sent me home to Canada with a Christmas gift of a scarf and earrings for her. A Bangladeshi maid giving a Canadian woman who she's never met a Christmas gift. Go figure. I offered to bring Hena something from Canada. She asked for multivitamins. She got her vitamins, and all my respect.
Hena has a Grade 1 education. She was married when she was 12, and her parents paid a dowry of 10,000Tk. She had her first daughter, Rohima, when she was 13, and her second daughter, Johora, when she was 16. Rohima is now 7 and attends StreetWise, a community school for slum children, thanks to a Canadian friend and employer who introduced her to the school. Her husband doesn't work. That's the beginning of his long list of less than redeeming qualities. She said she thought about divorcing him once, but that he refused. While I am tempted to explain to her that this is not how it works, I also recognize that leaving her husband simply might not be the best thing for her. This is a society in which women struggle to survive on their own and I might be doing her a grave diservice by encouraging her to go out on her own into a situation that I don't fully understand the ramifications of.
I learned the other day that Hena is mostly illiterate. I feel that the best way to help Hena make decisions about her life is to enable her to access information on her own, so, in the irony of all ironies, my roommates and I have decided to try to teach her to read and write Bangla. I have a feeling our house is going to be covered from top to bottom in flash cards pretty soon...
Despite all the obstacles she faces, Hena laughs often. In fact, she's pretty much smiling all the time. There is no end to my admiration of her spirit.
Yes, it does feel strange to leave my dishes lying around for someone else to clean, but regardless of the bad habits I am picking up, I am grateful for what Hena has brought to my life. And, I am grateful that I am able to bring a thing or two to her life as well, even if it is only a salary and some multivitamins.
posted by ash at 9:33 AM
1 Comments:
I don't see this has a bad thing since they are willing to earn a good wage. And what you have describe with their job tasks, a much better alternative to the limited employment options that do not pay a significantly equal amount.
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